Rat Bastard

A special treat today, kiddies! Guest bloggers!

Let's give it up for famous daytime television talk show host OPHELIA, who has graciously consented to interview Owein, the Druid hero of my August Dorchester release, THE GRAIL KING.

Some of you may remember Owein from my 2005 release CELTIC FIRE.

Joy: Welcome, Ophelia! Welcome Owein!

Ophelia: So glad to be here, Joy. Owein, are you ready?

Owein: As ready as I'll ever be, Ophelia.

Ophelia: All right, then. Owein, I understand you've come all the way from second century Britain to be with us today.

Owein: Aye, ye call my birthplace the English-Scots border now.

Ophelia: Can you tell me a little about yourself? I understand you're a Druid.

Owein: Aye, Ophelia, I have the power of the Sight. 'Tis a curse and a blessing.

Ophelia: How horrible!

Owein: Ye canna imagine.

Ophelia: And your family? Are they really royalty?

Owein: Aye, my grandmother was a Celt queen. My mother and sister would have been queens, if not for the rat bastard Romans.

Ophelia: I sense some hostility there, Owein.

Owein (shaking his head): Ye are a canny lass, Ophelia.

Ophelia: I understand that when you were only fifteen, your older sister, Rhiannon, was kidnapped by a Roman commander named Lucius Aquila. Can you tell our audience how that made you feel?

Owein (grimaces): I wanted to kill the rat bastard.

Ophelia (gasps): No!

Owein: Aye, I tried my best to kill Lucius Aquila. My soul? I sold it to the dark side of Druid magic in return for the Roman rat bastard's life. But the gods taunted me, and I failed. Rhiannon abandoned her clan and married Aquila. (Gives a disgusted shake of his head.) She said she loved him. Can ye believe it?

Ophelia (leaning close, touching Owein's arm): And how did you feel about that?

Owein (sighs): I told her to follow her heart--what else could I do? I loved Rhiannon and I knew she wouldna be happy without her rat bastard Roman lover. But I can tell ye, Ophelia, inside I felt betrayed.

Ophelia: What happened then?

Owein: War, Ophelia. With the rat bastard Romans.

Ophelia: Oh, my!

Owein: I was taken in battle. Sold as a slave. Condemned to die. Escaped. Eventually, I found a new life with a new clan. I married a fine woman and before long, she carried my child.

Ophelia (frowns in intense sympathy): But your newfound happiness didn't last.

Owein (snorts): Of course it didn't last, Ophelia! I'm a romance hero! If ye read any romance novels at all, ye would know a romance hero walks a lonely, tortured road.

Ophelia: Can you tell us what happened?

Owein (hand clenching into a fist): The rat bastard Romans happened! Commander Sextus Gracchus's men marched on my village. Killed my wife. Sold what was left of my clan into slavery.

Ophelia (shudders): But not you?

Owein (drops his head into his hands): Nay. Some fine warrior I turned out to be. I wasna even there to protect my wife and my village. The day before, I'd traveled to a ring of sacred stones, seeking wisdom for my people. The gods were laughing that day.

Ophelia: So you suffered a religious crisis.

Owein (raising his head and shooting Ophelia an incredulous look): Ye might say that.

Ophelia: So you lived alone, in your burnt and ruined village in a mountain wilderness, for what--two years?

Owein: About that, Ophelia.

Ophelia (breathless): Until something happened. Can you tell us what it was?

Owein (leans back): 'Twas during a snowstorm. I had a vision. A river of blood, flowing past my feet. When I followed it, I found a very real Roman lass, nearly frozen to death.

Ophelia (sighing dreamily): Clara.

Owein: Aye, Clara. The daughter of rat bastard Sextus Gracchus, the man who destroyed my village.

Ophelia (doe-eyed): What was poor Clara doing there, lost in the mountains?

Owein: She was looking for me, Ophelia. She needed my help. But she didna have the slightest idea of what my aid would cost her.

Ophelia (excitedly): And what did it cost her? She was the daughter of your enemy. She was alone and helpless. Her clothes were wet and frozen. I understand you had to take them all off--

Joy (lurching across the couch to grab Ophelia's microphone): Oh, look at the TIME! Well! Ophelia! Owein! Looks like we're just about done here!

Ophelia (glaring): Party pooper.

Joy: Thank you so much, Ophelia, for your insightful questions. And thank you, Owein, for your candid answers.

Ophelia: Any time, Joy.

Owein (muttering): ...rat bastard Romans.

Joy: All right, then! Readers, do you think Owein was a little hard on the poor Romans? I mean, they can't all be rat bastards! Check back in a few weeks when Ophelia returns to interview Marcus Aquila, one of The Grail King's hottie Roman characters. Just wait until you hear about Marcus's childhood trauma involving a crazed Druid...

Until next Friday...

Joy
www.joynash.com


PS. BTW, for all you DaVinci Code fans, here's the answer to the question I hear most often: Yes, the Grail in THE GRAIL KING is "The" Holy Grail! Keep an eye on my website for more about this.